Head of School's Blog

Mr. Rinat

All too often we wait until someone leaves a position before acknowledging their contributions publicly. An inimitable figure and true legend of ARS, Rinat Khaniyev, has been a member of ARS for 18 years, since June of 2006. He was a talented and formidable engineer in Kazakhstan. when he emigrated to the United States where his engineering degree, training and experience were not ‘valid’ for employment. Rinat works harder and with greater intention than anyone else on campus. His standards for ARS maintenance have become the standards for functionality and cleanliness in the building. In a building as old as ours, it is remarkable that only the charm of our facility’s age is in evidence. At a school with many legendary faculty & staff members, the living legend of Mr. Rinat looms larger than most, and his influence on the school, as well as his devotion to it, is beyond measure. In so many important ways, Rinat defines the school and what it stands for, and he makes sure that we all try to live up to its exacting standards. Indeed, Mr. Rinat captures in a single person the special character of ARS: rigorous standards delivered with lighthearted, joyous dedication.

As a faculty member when I began teaching here, I learned from Rinat just how high and exacting the standards of ARS were–not only for the students, about whom he cares individually and deeply, but also for the faculty, for whom he works tirelessly. Always ready with an enthusiastic greeting or an idea to improve the design of something, he exudes graciousness and creativity. Just as he loves ARS, ARS loves him. I can think of no other individual who is so often cited in graduation speeches (the highest form of ARS flattery). This is the finest measure of true greatness, and true affection.

I want to thank all of our school’s living legends now, for their service to ARS and for all that they do daily. As a school we must all keep working hard to live up to the high standards that have been set for us. This, our final year, must be our finest yet.

September Blog

The first days of school in September are always wonderful.

The most wonderful statement about ARS is that every teacher consistently strives to make each day wonderful for all the students. The overriding tone of each day is one of happy and contented individuals working hard.

During our final assembly last June, a speaker addressing the children as a group asked if everyone were excited for the last week of school. It was so gratifying to hear that most students answered with a resounding “NO!”. It is certainly a fervent wish that our students enjoy fabulous summer plans, but it is very telling that our students do not typically view school negatively. As a second chapter to the above anecdote on the final Tuesday of the school year no fewer than three students who were dismissed to their parents at 3:00 PM, spontaneously asked to stay for the Extended Day Program instead of leaving school.

We are off to the races for another happy year with students who love their school! We are all glad to be back at ARS.

Margaret Mead on the Start of Civilization

Ira Byock tells this story.

A student asked anthropologist Margaret Mead, “What is the earliest sign of civilization?” The student expected her to say a clay pot, a grinding stone, or maybe a weapon.

Mead thought for a moment, then she said, “A healed femur.”

A femur is the longest bone in the body, linking hip to knee. In societies without the benefits of modern medicine, it takes about six weeks of rest for a fractured femur to heal. A healed femur shows that someone cared for the injured person, did their hunting and gathering, stayed with them, and offered physical protection and human companionship until the injury could mend.

Mead explained that where the law of the jungle — the survival of the fittest — rules, no healed femurs are found. The first sign of civilization is compassion, seen in a healed femur.

A convincing argument for compassion as the first marker of civilization automatically leads to speculation on the impact of individual compassion on individuals and societal compassion on societies.

May Blog

There are countless really rewarding moments at ARS, many of which are not suitable topics for the monthly blog, but last month provided two remarkable examples of our educational success. One of which affirms the wonders of our math curriculum, and the second confirms our outstanding science program.

As various candidates were interviewed to fill the JrK teaching position open for next year, they were informed of the need for summer training in the Bridges math program which is used at ARS from JrK through grade 5. Instead of hearing about the training and the program in a negative light, the faculty here, across the board, spoke enthusiastically about Bridges and how much fun it is to teach. The candidates all noted how the students universally enjoy math classes. Last year, our math scores on standardized testing showed marked improvement and we expect the same good results this year, so it is not only a fun program, but it is also effective.

On Friday, April 5, NYC experienced an earthquake at 10:23 am. Blessedly, there was no appreciable damage, nor were there any injuries reported as a result, but it was an incident of which we were aware. I understand the Mayor Eric Adams’ office was criticized for the delinquency of the city’s alert notice. ARS, on the other hand, had virtually every classroom immediately cease the lesson at hand and turn to a lesson on earthquakes. As I circulated the building to see that everything and everyone was in good form, the enthusiastic classroom conversations centered on the science of earthquakes. Then, the very next school day, Monday, April 8 was the day of the solar eclipse. Again, the dominant topic of discussion and related lessons was scientific in nature. The students and faculty in the Extended Day Program went out to Central Park (with solar eclipse safe glasses, of course) to observe the phenomenon. Many other ARS families joined us there that afternoon since the eclipse followed the afternoon dismissal. It was a happy group of well-informed and interested youngsters.

A good education offers a strong curriculum coupled with the capacity for student driven inquiry, which often takes the form of ‘current events’ because observant students are attuned to their surroundings. There are many features of ‘good teachers’ and it is gratifying to know that our faculty both responds immediately to science-based student inquiry and loves teaching math. Science and math are two areas that are notoriously weak in elementary trained teachers in the United States and I am delighted that we do not fall into that stereotype.

We all owe a huge debt of gratitude to Laura Yi, who actively implemented the Bridges Math Program and who single handedly runs the ARS science program.

April Blog

One of my dear friends, a retired teacher who has visited ARS, sent this to me recently from the public domain:

“Every Friday afternoon Chase’s teacher asks her students to take out a piece of paper and write down the names of four children with whom they’d like to sit the following week. The children know that these requests may or may not be honored. She also asks the students to nominate one student whom they believe has been an exceptional classroom citizen that week. All ballots are privately submitted to her.

And every single Friday afternoon, after the students go home, Chase’s teacher takes out those slips of paper, places them in front of her and studies them. She looks for patterns.

Who is not being requested by anyone else?
Who doesn’t even know whom to request?
Who never gets noticed enough to be nominated?
Who had a million friends last week and none this week?

Chase’s teacher is not looking for a new seating chart or ‘exceptional citizens.’ Chase’s teacher is looking for lonely children. She’s looking for children who are struggling to connect with other children. She’s identifying the little ones who are falling through the cracks of the class’s social life. She is discovering whose gifts are going unnoticed by their peers. And she’s pinning down — right away — who’s being bullied and who is doing the bullying.

As a teacher, parent, and lover of all children — I think that this is the most brilliant ‘Love Ninja’ strategy I have ever encountered. It’s like taking an X-ray of a classroom to see beneath the surface of things and into the hearts of students. It is like mining for gold — the gold being those little ones who need a little help, who need adults to step in and teach them how to make friends, how to ask others to play, how to join a group, or how to share their gifts with others. And it’s a bully deterrent because every teacher knows that bullying usually happens outside of their eyeshot — and that often kids being bullied are too intimidated to share. But as she said — the truth comes out on those safe, private, little sheets of paper.

And what this mathematician has learned while using this system is something she really already knew: that everything — even love, even belonging – has a pattern to it. And she finds those patterns through those lists — she breaks the codes of disconnection. And then she gets lonely kids the help they need. It’s math to her. It’s math.

Chase’s teacher retires this year — after decades of saving lives. What a way to spend a life: looking for patterns of love and loneliness. Stepping in, every single day — and altering the trajectory.”

Here the message ends and I personally would like to endorse the brilliance of this strategy to ensure every student ‘some level of inclusion in the group’, my friend, so wisely said, “If every student attended ARS, then such a formalized system would be entirely unnecessary, given your small class sizes and your incredible faculty!” Even in our small setting with relatively ‘small’ children we must be constantly vigilant about social isolation, social rejection and fostering every child’s emotional wellbeing.

March Blog

The good weather has arrived, and with it the opportunity for families to spend greater amounts of time outside. The most important message is to enjoy this opportunity, the secondary message is to see that your children are getting adequate exercise.

At the end of February just when Coach Jackson and Ms. Colonna were conducting the annual Department of Education (DOE) physical education assessments, there was an article in the New York Times comparing today’s requirements and standards to those in the past when the Presidential Fitness Test was an important part of Nationwide physical education for nearly half a century. The standards today are greatly reduced. Please see the guidelines and requirements below. These are the skills that elementary school aged children should be able to perform. This can serve as a guide to you as you engage in family activities or enroll your children in extracurricular activities and programs. If you would like specific suggestions, Mr. Jackson, Ms. Colonna and I all stand ready to discuss the importance of children’s fitness.

ARS serves an incredibly varied population of students, but they should certainly all be physically fit and robust. There is not a single student in our current population with physical disabilities or limitations that would impact their performance on a physical fitness assessment.

Of the 72 students enrolled for 2023-24, 14 of them were found lacking the skills, stamina or coordination to successfully complete the assessment sessions. That is more than 10% of our student body.

We provide more physical movement than most schools given the numbers of weekly P.E. classes, the layout of the building, and the schedule of the Extended Day Program. Still, many of our students are not deemed adequately physically fit. We must all work harder to see the children are physically fit which will improve their their general, emotional and intellectual health.

Below are the DOE Standards by which the students’ physical fitness was measured:

Lower Grades K- 2nd

Must do six push-ups uninterrupted

Must hold a 20-second Plank

Must do seven sit-ups uninterrupted

You must do six burpees

You must do 20 seconds of Mountain Climbers

You must do 20 seconds of High Knees

Must do 10 Lunges

Must do ten jumping Jacks uninterrupted

You must do ten squats

Upper Grades 3rd - 5th grade

Must do nine push-ups

30-second planks

12 sit-ups

Ten burpees

30 seconds of mountain climbers

30 seconds of high knees

12 jumping Jacks

Most do 12 lunges

Jack Claps

Second Day

Ladders/ Shuttle Runs 20 yards and back six times in a specified amount of time.

Current Events at ARS

As Russia instigated and escalated the war with Ukraine, the classrooms here addressed the topic of that war delicately. There is a difference between age-appropriate ways in which to discuss a current conflict with students ranging from 4 to 11 years old. There is also sensitivity required when there are both Russian and Ukrainian members of our community.

Earlier this year, the war in the Middle East became a current event topic of discussion and again the school focused on age-appropriate information given the ages of the students with sensitivity to our Israeli and Palestinian members of the school population.

On Friday, January 12th our Assembly featured a discussion of Martin Luther King, Jr., in honor of the day on which he is celebrated nationally. The Assembly included information on race, racism, segregation, integration, civil rights, equity, equality, peaceful protest, and assassination.

The conversations, discussions and reading material on these three topics will continue as long as the two wars continue to be waged and throughout the month of February, which is Black History Month.

The school faculty will answer any questions that your children ask informatively and impartially. We will encourage the children to ask for more information, or for opinions, from their family members. The wars will be discussed here at school from a geographical, but not geopolitical, point of view. Racism will be discussed historically and societally. Inequity and inequality will be presented as unfair and unnecessary.

The adults at ASR work every day to encourage equity and humanitarian consideration in everyone. Thank you for helping us maintain our goal of socially conscious worldwide goodness and peace.

January- Resolutions

It is January 1st and the first day of a new calendar year. It is a perfect time to discuss resolutions. Adults traditionally make resolutions at this time of year that typically involve financial restraint, weight loss, alcohol consumption, or time management. Many businesses capitalize on New Year’s resolutions and are somewhat snide about the lack of resolve with which most annually triggered resolutions are made. An exercise instructor this morning, cautioned participants that gym memberships would increase and that classes would be very full for the next few weeks, but that by February everything would return to ‘normal’.

It is more gracious, interesting, and amusing to consider adult resolutions made on January 1st in the vein of Magical Thinking. Magical Thinking is engaged in by children regularly. Many of the games they play and activities in which they engage are based on Magical Thinking. An athletic child may place totally arbitrary goals on their practice at a particular sports related skill, for instance only ceasing their practice after successfully shooting 50 continuous baskets with a basketball or only after 200 consecutive jumps in jumping rope. Children may end up losing total track of time when they are engaged in these ‘games’ with themselves. Most often these games are harmless by adult standards, but the resolve with which children set arbitrary goals can be nothing short of alarming and dangerous. Children may set a goal of crossing the street after the third blue vehicle passes by and their ‘resolution’ takes precedence over the safety of crossing the street at that moment. Many of the common risk-taking behaviors exhibited by adolescent children are the result of Magical Thinking. Clearly most often throughout life, Magical Thinking is entirely harmless. It can even be beneficial by serving to enhance one’s grip on reality.

Joan Didion’s book The Year of Magical Thinking is an excellent account of magical thinking in an adult and there are many studies delving into the thought patterns of children at all ages. Whatever your age, I hope all your New Year’s resolutions are magical. May your resolutions be just what you intend them to be and may you live with them happily or cast them aside at will according to your own intentional determination, not simply due to lack of attention or the passage of time.

December

Building one last step on the ‘communication theme’ in all of this year’s blogs to date, the final piece will be non-verbal communication. Human to human non-verbal communication begins in utero and continues throughout one’s lifetime. The most prevalent use of non-verbal communication is in the articulation of emotions through facial expressions and body language.

Infants are extremely sensitive to the emotions of those individuals with whom they interact. Newborns have physical and biological reactions to the individuals around them. If you're interested in reading more, see the Still Face Experiment developed by Dr. Edward Tronick (1). Toddlers are also hyper-aware of the emotional states of other people. Children develop non-verbal communication skills before they develop language skills, expressing their likes and dislikes for everything from foods to activities.

The ARS Ethics program begins with the concept of building emotional literacy and identification of emotions using facial photographs of unfamiliar people. Although the photographs used in the exercises here at school represent a wide cross-section of humanity, the students’ interpretation of facial expressions is invariably exclusively slanted to the ‘developed country’ interpretation of expression. In Talking to Strangers, Malcolm Gladwell discusses research demonstrating surprising cultural variety in what is identified as a ‘happy smile’ In developed countries. Any tooth bearing expression is an indicator of fear or aggression in some cultures. Accurate interpretation of other people’s emotional states is an important skill, and one that continually develops throughout a child's life. The next step in the Ethics program here is to recognize emotional states in oneself, followed by the recognition of emotional patterns in classmates or peers. Ultimately the children move on to learning tools that help regulate their own emotions, or assisting others and helping classmates regulate their emotions. Ultimately, the students learn active conflict resolution and diplomacy.

Much of this work is accomplished through non-verbal communication. Offering a hug when a classmate is seemingly frustrated, offering them something you think might help, or giving a smile and a wave are all good non-verbal ways of recognizing and responding positively to difficult emotions that students might observe in others.

Non-verbal facial expressions include eye-rolling, sneering, grimacing, smiling, frowning scowling, smirking, pursing of lips, squinting, raised eyebrows, downcast eyes, flared nostrils, and clenched jaw. Non-verbal physical gestures include nodding, shrugging, pointing, waving arms, stance, and posture. As parents and educators, we are often unaware of how many of these expressions children learn from us, so being intentional about our own non-verbal communication is the best tool we have for teaching our children and students.

November

The September blog covered ways in which to elicit school information from your children, followed by October’s blog offering positive verbal cues with which to send children off to school each morning. It seems logical for November’s blog to follow with a discussion of how children frequently hear, misunderstand, and interpret what is said to them.

Part of the charm of children is their literal understanding of language which can lead to such interesting comments and reactions. Here are some common misunderstandings that can be extrapolated upon, enabling you to hone your language usefully when communicating with children.

It is very common for young children to misunderstand (or be unaware) of the concept of contagion, so if an adult says, “You can’t go to school today because you will give your head cold to your classmates.’ Logically, children may think that giving their illness to others would mean that they won’t be sick anymore. Experience has taught them that when you give something tangible to someone, you no longer have it yourself. Another literal interpretation resulting in misunderstanding an explanation is in the description of a thermos which can keep something hot or keep something cold. Children wonder how the thermos knows which to do. The explanation must be about the fact that a thermos allows temperatures to be maintained for extended periods of time. Comparably, when children know that adults are able to open medicines for children, but children can’t, they wonder not only how the lids know who is opening them, but also why the lids can’t be opened by the intended recipients of the medicine. Metaphorical comments often confuse children, too, such as casual references to having ‘eyes in the back of your head’ or ‘wearing your heart on your sleeve’. Literary references, such as turning into a pumpkin if one stays up too late often require explanation. Sarcasm is often completely lost on young children. Be aware of these potential linguistic pitfalls and be prepared to fully explain the meaning or the intention of your language.

Many other examples lie in the ‘slang’, vernacular or cryptic use of language, of which all adults in every culture and language are guilty. Educators are more guilty than most other adults and their students most often understand what is being said, but certain phrases seem bizarre to unfamiliar ears. Consider the following, very commonly used phrases by educators, from the vantage point of a child:
Eyes front or even eyeballs front (meaning, ‘please watch where are you going?’)
Listen up (what does ‘up’ mean?)
Use your words (meaning ‘please speak’)
No thank you (as an entire thought…meaning please stop what you are doing…but the action is implied and remains unspecified)
None of these are things that any adult would say to another adult in hopes of being understood.

All young children everywhere are biologically programmed to acquire language and the adults in a child’s environment do them an enormous disservice by not communicating verbally using the vocabulary, grammar, syntax and enunciation that they want to see emerging in their children.

As an aside, the numbers of children between the ages of 3 and 6 who require intensive speech therapy has reached epic proportions as a direct result of the pandemic which limited the numbers of individuals with whom those children were interacting verbally and the fact that so many people who spoke to those children were wearing masks when they spoke. The masks not only muffled the sounds, but also prevented the visual image of the formation of the face and mouths of those who were speaking.

Language acquisition from birth through adolescence is a fascinating topic involving the neurologic, auditory, visual, morphologic, intellectual, and social capabilities of the child, all working in synchrony. It is no wonder children are exhausted at the end of their school days.

October

Last month the issue of how to encourage children to discuss their school day was the topic. The parents who provided feedback on that topic have requested that this month be devoted to the topic of sending children into school each morning with verbal positivity and encouragement upon arriving at school. Much the same concept as the ‘intention setting ‘ that we did as a school at The Kirking, or that many adults do for themselves daily, can be useful for children, too. Discussing a positive ‘goal for the day’ with your children on the way to school can be a lovely and productive, tone setting conversation. Below are some examples of foolproof words with which to send your children off to school:
Have fun
Work hard
Make good choices
Be kind
Make someone else smile (or laugh)
Can’t wait to see you later
Remember to ask for help from someone if you need it
We are having your favorite (fill in the blank) for dinner tonight

If you know your child’s schedule for the day (available to everyone at ARS on Beehively), you can be more specific:
Sing heartily in Music
Have fun in Art
Or you can call out ‘good-bye’ in Spanish, French or Mandarin on the days those classes are offered
You can also send your own ‘hello’ greeting to a specific teacher that your child is scheduled have

Below are some commonly uttered parting words or phrases that are less positive:
Eat all of your lunch (Whatever is not consumed will be sent home, so you will be aware of any food that is uneaten)
Be good (‘good’ is so general as to be meaningless to children…be kind, be polite, be attentive, be cooperative, be gentle, be considerate, be happy are all more tangible adjectival directives)
Get all A’s (We do not grade or rank our students and we do not want the focus on graded products as much as on the educational process, so ‘work hard’ is a preferable mandate)
Avoid naming an activity with a specific classmate, unless you know the classmate will be present that day. If you tell a young child to sit next to Susan or play with Peter, your child will feel conflicted if Susan and Peter are not in school that day.

Thanks to those of you who read and respond to the Blogs. It is helpful to hear your thoughts and suggestions for topics. Please continue to send your comments and ideas.

September

There is a recurring theme every September from the families whose young children are just beginning elementary school, students in JrK through 1st grade. The resounding question that many of these parents have pertains to what it is that their children actually ‘do’ in school all day. It is common knowledge that there is an academic shift in elementary school which makes it very different from the Early Childhood programs with which the families of young children are more familiar. Yet these new elementary school students are still young, the days are long and a general parental question posed at the close of the day, such as: ‘What did you do in school today?’, is actually not likely to yield an expansive or informative response.

Take heart! First of all, our updated ARS curriculum in each subject at every grade level is now on the website. Secondly, every ARS teacher has their own Beehively page which contains regularly updated specific information about what is being taught. Thirdly, we have Curriculum Night (early in the school year (9/19), which provides families an opportunity to become acquainted with the teaching staff and the curriculum. Finally, our faculty members are always available to discuss classwork with you, so call or email with any questions or comments at any time.

Here are some tried and true tips for getting more verbal information about the school day from your young children conversationally. Ask them a specific question about general information. Follow up with additional related questions to keep the conversation going.

For instance:

Who did you sit next to during snack (or lunch) today? Follow up: What did you talk about?

Do remember a song that you learned (or sang) at school today? Follow up: What was the song about?

Did you go to the playground? Follow up: Who did you play with when you were there?

Did you go down a slide (or swing on a swing) today? Follow up: What else did you do at the playground?

Did you like the book that you heard (or read) today? Follow up: Was it illustrated? Did you like the pictures?

Look at your child’s weekly schedule, so that you know to ask about specific enrichment classes on the appropriate day. What did you and Ms. Yi do in Science today?

Find out the names of classmates from the school directory and ask something about another student in the class.

If there is a classroom pet, ask about its habits.

Was anybody in your class absent today?

What was the first (or last) thing you did at school today?

Did you do something to make anyone else happy today?

These are questions that force specific memories by providing triggers using everyday occurrences or people. You can often elicit information by offering comparable information first. For instance, tell your child with whom you had lunch as a way to entice them to tell you with whom they had lunch. As children get older, they become more conversant about school, their academic activities and their social life at school. As children progress through their elementary school years there is more tangible schoolwork for you to see, which will afford you greater insight as to what is being ‘done’ in the many hours spent away from home when children are at school.

ARS Theater Program

The May 5th ARS production of ‘The Wizard of Oz’ was inspirational. Among other thoughts, it inspired contemplation of the enormous educational value of the performing arts. Below is the short list of tangible skills learned and practiced by cast members:

Collaboration
Cooperation
Memorization (of script, music and movement)
Voice projection
Stage presence
Blocking
Taking direction
Costume design
Prop management
Lighting
Set design
Story development

All ARS students experience theatrical productions at some level through their participation in multiple assemblies each year, but the addition of a full-fledged Performing Arts department this year has been nothing short of extraordinary. Enjoy whatever your family attends over the summer months. The ARS Summer Camp will offer weekly performance opportunities and ARS will be back next fall with a full line up of great performances in recognition of the educational value of the arts.

AI: Where Angels Fear to Tread

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is in the general news and at the forefront of educational news for good reason. The leaders in the industry have recently appealed to the federal government to impose a stay to further development until there is more research and greater control over what they have deemed a ‘threat to humanity’.

Our duty as a school is to remain aware and educated ourselves about such important issues. To that end there was a professional development meeting on AI after school on Tuesday, May 25th. In addition, Bin Yu, the founder of the Coding for Good program used by ARS students in grades 1-5, will give a one-hour presentation on AI to our faculty at our end of the year faculty meeting.

In preparation for these upcoming meetings the faculty and staff are all reading articles and attending webinars. The flood of information is overwhelming.

Several aspects rise to the fore:

Many students use AI to do their work, which everyone calls ‘cheating’.

Many teachers use AI to do their work, which everyone calls ‘good use of AI’.

Something is missing from this equation.

There are several tasks at which AI has been shown to be superior to human efforts, notably reading CAT scans. The task of education involves teaching and learning, so simply having a machine do both defeats the purpose, because it leaves students uneducated. It is comparable to reading a CAT scan for an artificially created presence…who would even care about the accuracy of that reading? It is an absurdity, just as a dependence on AI for education is absurd.

Can teachers effectively use AI to assist in teaching? Certainly.

Can students effectively use AI to gather information? Certainly.

Teaching has never been simply imparting information though, students must learn how to question, analyze, discuss, critique, debate, synthesize and integrate information. At a time when technology looms, we must create and maintain classrooms in which the fundamentally human characteristics prevail: critical, creative thinking and original thought.

High-level thinking in classrooms can only be fostered by high-level instruction from teachers who use AI intelligently, not as a replacement for themselves. Discussions, Socratic circles, in-school group projects and oral exams take the ‘cheating’ possibilities away from both teachers and students.

Anyone interested in attending Bin Yu’s AI presentation at the faculty meeting on Tuesday, June 20 from 11:00am to 12:00pm is welcome to join us.

The One and Only Ivan

I seriously considered submitting a blank blog and claiming invisible ink for April Fool’s Day, but I read a book over the Spring break, at Blair Goodman’s sage suggestion, and was inspired to dash a little something off for those of you who actually read my monthly musings.

Each year, Blair Goodman reads The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate with her students. I know precisely when this occurs because she emerges from her class with her eyes red-rimmed and her nose a little sniffly, and Ms. Goodman is not typically weepy. This year, as she recovered her composure, she pressed me to read the book, and I am so glad that she did. The book was published in 2012. It is Newberry Medal winner and was a #1 New York Times Bestseller, for good reason. I, now too, can recommend this book wholeheartedly to all ARS families. It is a good book to read aloud to children and it is a good book for children to read on their own.

It is not my place to discuss any details of the plot or the characters, you must read it yourselves, or ask any current ARS third grade student for a synopsis. What I will do is refer you back to a few of my previous blog comments about E. B. White’s children’s books; namely the ambivalent ending of Stuart Little and the value of death in Charlotte’s Web.

At a school library event, Katherine Applegate was questioned by a worried parent that her book was sad and it might make some children cry. Absolutely, it will make them cry…and that is a good thing. Children are experts in sadness, even those with relatively happy lives. Literature is a far easier place to cope with sadness than in real time in real life. Children need practice in dealing with all their emotions and there is safety in being literarily sad. It is also valuable for children to see that literature can have that effect on adults, so go ahead read and weep with your children over a book. It will do everyone good.

Assemblies

Written Feb 8, the morning after the 2023 State of the Union Address.

ARS weekly Assemblies are designed to teach several skills and accomplish several goals:

The entire school gathers as one, enhancing community relations across age groups (ages 3.9 years old up to 70 years old), all grades and all roles (students, teachers, parents, family members, staff, and administration) with a ‘bi-partisan’ and collegial attitude.

Everyone in the school has multiple opportunities to present from the stage, learning a variety of public speaking techniques.

Everyone learns how to be attentive and polite audience members.

Everyone learns how to think critically, analytically and engage politely in dialogue as a group (thanks to our fantastic faculty members).

Everyone sings (The ARS Song) together. Singing together improves relationships and connection, perhaps the National anthem should be sung as a way to open political meetings in Washington.

Our school Assemblies are a true pleasure to attend and everyone is invited on Fridays at 8:40am. The Assembly schedule is available on Beehively and the school calendar.

Contrast our gatherings to those of our national politicians in Washington DC, ALL of whom should be held to the high standard of content, presentation and behavior exhibited at ARS each and every week.

Risking the Wrong Answer

Whether one is naturally drawn to risk or naturally avoidant of risk-taking, like so much else, a balanced approach is the most beneficial. Excessive risk is dangerous and excessive risk-avoidance is equally dangerous.

The dangers for children and adults who take excessive risks are obvious. Less obvious are the dangers of excessive risk avoidance. Risk avoidance in children can prevent them from exploring the world, following their curiosity, asking questions, and contributing to conversations. Thomas A. Edison famously said: “I never view my mistakes as failures. They are simply opportunities to find out what does not work.” As an inventor, mistakes were a far greater part of Edison’s life than were successes, but his message is still useful.

Children have a skewed view of the adult world as always being right and infallible. Openly admit your errors and mistakes in front of your children and discuss the ways in which you have corrected, compensated, or simply tried again. Asking your children for help is also particularly meaningful. For instance, if you misremember something, instead of downplaying the importance of your mistake, ask your child to help you remember it next time. Avoid scolding your children for their errors unless, of course, the result is dangerous. Show them how to correct the error and try again.

Here are some easily remembered and useful phrases:

1. Good thing, pencils come with erasers
2. That is a big mess, let me help you clean up…How could it have been prevented?
3. You get to try again.
4. I made a mistake, let me try again
5. I made a mistake, can you help me
6. We all make mistakes, most of them are really not that important

All too frequently, fear of errors leads to anxiety and a reluctance to participate actively at school. It is through active participation, risk-taking and making mistakes that children learn the most. Encourage your children to jump in wholeheartedly.

Complementarity

Complementarity is what defines a paradox. It is when one thing considered from different perspectives can have contradictory properties. Rather like looking simultaneously through a microscope with one eye and a telescope with the other.

Children are living examples of complementarity with their:

• pure innocence and profound wisdom
• diminutive physical size and enormous impact on family life
• immense complexity and utter simplicity.

All too often adults offhandedly dismiss observations and comments made by children. We owe it to children to really listen to what they think and how they express their thoughts. You will be surprised and delighted by the emotions, thoughts and comments they produce if you take the time to converse with the children in your lives. Children learn at least as much through conversation as they do through schoolwork.

ARS itself is a kind of metaphor for complementarity for having been founded over 200 years ago in contrast to its brief (7 years at most) service to any particular child.

The long-standing history of ARS is remarkable for its consistency of mission and character. Reflecting on this, it occurs to me that most such long-standing institutions serve populations (read ‘Adults’) who are themselves interested in - and capable of - insuring these institutions’ future. Come to think of it, by serving its students well, ARS is also delivering for adults (read ‘Parents’)!

Anxiety

On November 15, ARS hosted a panel discussion organized by Sharon Thomas of MAIA Education Resource Center on the topic of childhood anxiety. The panelists were informed and interesting and audience questions and comments were compelling.

Recognizing the signs and symptoms of childhood anxiety and then working to reduce its effects is important. Equally important is knowing some of the causes and mitigating them whenever possible. Anxiety and stress are exacerbated by poor nutrition and lack of sleep. Conversely, anxiety and stress can be reduced by good nutrition and adequate sleep.

A child’s dietary and sleep habits fall under the domain of the adults in a family.

Every pediatrician can espouse the importance of good nutrition in childhood and any teacher can tell you that a student whose snacks and lunch foods are exclusively carbohydrates and sugars will not be at their best academic or behavioral performance for the day. Protein along with fresh fruits and vegetables is essential.

Adequate sleep is a favorite topic of mine and I came across an article titled Jet Lag, by Nina Li Coomes in the 10.30.22 NYT magazine. I will quote Ms. Coomes, because her descriptions of jet lag are spot on: ‘the debilitating, dizzying jet lag…my heavy lids always felt as if a thin layer of grit had formed behind them…famished and nauseated all at once…the battle with insomnia and fatigue’. These personal descriptions were followed by one from a February 1966 Los Angeles Times article, cited as providing one of the first references to jet lag in a major American newspaper, which described the feeling as “a debility not unakin to a hangover.”

Massive numbers of young children face almost every day with chronic sleep deprivation akin to jet lag.

The first step in addressing the reduction of childhood stress and anxiety is to ensure proper nutritional and sleep requirements. For a frame of reference the American Association of Pediatricians recommends: 10 to 13 hours of sleep for children ages 3-5 years old and 9 to 12 hours of sleep for children 6 to 12 years old along with a diet consisting of lots of vegetables, fruits, grains (preferably at least half whole grains), protein (lean meats, poultry, eggs, seafood, beans, peas, nuts, soy), dairy (including lactose-free and fortified soy dairy products), and essential polyunsaturated fats. Pediatricians are an excellent resource for nutritional and sleep guidelines. Pediatricians can also be effective in discussing these issues directly with their patients and children often respond very positively from suggestions made by adults other than their parents.

As family life gets busier, parents often require their children to adapt to nutritional and sleep habits that are contributing to stress in their children. At the very least, adults can reduce the stress factors over which they have control. In order to send your children into the world each day feeling less stressed and anxious, please send them out the door well rested and well fed.

Bullying

Bullying

I have an acquaintance who was recently hired by the city of New York to develop an entire anti-bullying curriculum, from Universal Pre-K though Grade 12. The fact this is even considered, let alone essential is a fundamentally depressing concept. Yet, bullying is a topic mentioned and discussed frequently. In the interest of being topical, with anti-bullying messages popping up on the screen of NYC taxi cabs, here are some general thoughts on the topic.

‘Bullying’ is a word that nearly rivals ‘awesome’ for its overuse, misuse and subsequent meaninglessness. At this juncture, the term has a legal definition with ramifications, so everyone should be extremely cautious in using it verbally or in writing.

There are two definitive and distinguishing behavioral features of bullying: it is recurring, and it is targeted to a victim perceived as ‘weaker’. Bullying among elementary aged school children is rare for several reasons:

One is that they are too young. Children aged 4 through 12 are busy forming themselves and then learning about social relationships, so their social relationships tend to be fluid and spontaneous. That is not to say that young children can’t be mean, and some children are consistently unkind, but they are not usually pointedly unkind to a targeted individual or group. Middle school is where social groups and clique behaviors typically begin to develop. Not surprisingly, that is where bullying usually rears its ugly head. Middle school students are more group oriented, more ‘exclusive’ in their friendships, are experimenting with social behaviors and have greater amounts of unsupervised time, especially on computers.

Children in elementary school have very little unsupervised time in school (they have none at ARS), so attentive adults observe and correct mean or unkind actions on the part of an elementary school aged child. Most elementary school aged children have very little unsupervised time of any kind outside of school as well.

There is nothing pleasant about having your child report that another child has been mean to them, but it is unwise to jump to any conclusions. If you want to find out more about an incident, ask open ended questions and listen carefully to the answers. Express sympathy to your own child and perhaps empathy to any other child involved. Remember that modeling the behavior you want to see in your child is the best way to achieve your goal. The next step would be to seek additional information from whomever else should be aware of the incident and ask them about the situation. As a final step, follow up and ask for administrative or professional help and advice if disturbing reports from your child persist.

Families signal to children whether kindness is valued and expected at home. Schools signal to their students whether kindness is valued and expected at school. Elementary school aged children are learning how to manage social relationships. They are bound to make errors. Every child has been unkind at some point, often unintentionally. The task of the teachers is to guide children’s behavior in positive ways.

The advantage of independent schools is our ability to admit children whose behavior is commensurate with our guidelines and expectations. We actively teach and model kindness among our students, parents, faculty, and staff. It is an effective way in which to make the world a better place more civil place for everyone. Thank you for joining us in our efforts.

Routines and Ruts

My grandmother used to proclaim that the only difference between a rut and a grave was the depth. Nobody wants to be stuck in a rut, but routine is vital to children’s sense of order and their need for some accurate sense of anticipating what will happen next. The entire school has an annual calendar, each grade has a weekly schedule, and each class has a daily schedule, which is posted in the classroom for the students to see and refer to.

While we strive to give each child at ARS the comfort and security of a predictable schedule, it is important to offer each child something unique, different, and interesting each and every day. If every day is an ‘everyday day’, life becomes ho-hum. On the other hand, if every day lacks any structure, chaos reigns. Chaos is not productive for children. There are adults who thrive in a chaotic environment, not so young children. Chaos is, by definition, stressful for children. Children do internalize structure and the very skills we expect them to master in elementary school are dependent on structure. Reading and math both require understanding the structure and placement of letters and numbers. The balance comes in offering every child, or even everyone of any age, something in each scheduled day that is special. Children can derive great pleasure from something as simple as eating a typical breakfast food, such as scrambled eggs, at dinnertime for dinner. At school, the children view it as remarkably special to switch the timing of two class periods, cancel a quiz or eliminate homework for a day. It is our responsibility to balance ‘structure’ and ‘special’. We hope you will follow our model and provide this balance for your children at home as well.

Summer Reading

You may have noticed the recurring theme in these blogs of adults modeling the behaviors that they hope to encourage in children at home and at school. If you are new to ARS, please feel free to go to the website to read any, and all, of the blogs from the past two years.

Traditionally, the school recommends two books at each grade level for summer reading every year. We want our students to read over the summer and we want them to begin school in September with the commonality of a shared anthology to discuss in the first week of classes. The same goal applies for the ARS faculty and staff, so the school also recommends books for our faculty and staff to read over the summer. We discuss the summer reading briefly at our first faculty meeting in the fall which is on Thursday, September 8 this year.

Last spring, Francisco Roldán read Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglas by Frederick Douglas for the first time and was so impressed by it that he declared that it should be mandatory reading for everyone. Most adults who attended school in the United States have, in fact, read it at some point in their education. Francisco is absolutely right: everyone should read it - and those who have already can benefit from re-reading it. Frederick Douglas’ book was selected for the profound statement it makes about slavery in the United States, the long-term implications of social injustice, the incredible cruelty of which humans are capable, the astounding ability of some individuals to survive societally sanctioned cruelty and the amazingly eloquent intellect of Mr. Douglas.

The second book for the summer was Educated, by Tara Westover. This is another book that many faculty and staff members have already read, but should re-read, with an overlay of the magnitude of what outsiders do NOT (and frequently CANNOT) know about the private lives of the children entrusted to our care, including the often-erroneous assumptions adults make about children’s lives at home. Kate Cannon will lead the discussion of Educated.

In the summer of 2021 we read, Into the Magic Shop, by Dr. James R. Doty, an impressive biography of a young life turned around entirely by the loving attention of the clever and caring mother of a local shopkeeper. Children’s lives are frequently deeply impacted by a single individual. Every adult at ARS has the opportunity to be a truly transformative person in the lives of the children at school and the book served as a reminder of the importance of that message.

Over the summer of 2020 we read Little Panic, by Amanda Stern, a deeply disturbing book written very effectively in the voice of a young student with undiagnosed learning issues and resulting anxiety. The emotional discomfort, confusion, and stress in this writer as a child positively leaps from the pages. Clearly, not all students have learning hurdles and not all students suffer from alarming anxiety levels, but every child has some things with which they struggle, and adults are often unaware of their confusion and frustration.

Any families who would like to pick up complimentary copies of the two summer 2022 books for themselves are welcome to do so. There are additional copies in the office for anyone interested. I am sure that your children would love to hear about the two ‘ARS books’ that you are reading. It is the perfect way for you to model behavior. It is a powerful message for children to see the adults in their lives reading for pleasure. The silent reading period at school each day is a way to reinforce strong reading skills and the teachers all read printed material (not computer screen material) along with their students during that time every day to model the behavior.

Happy Reading…

Attention Must Be Paid

In Journal of a Prairie Year, Paul Gruchow wrote about the nuanced sound of snow:

"With proper attention, one can learn to tell the temperature of the air,

the depth of snowfall on the ground,

and the condition of the weather in the preceding week

from the sound of snow underfoot."

For that particular exercise we will need to wait for next year’s snowfalls, but the relevant truth is that with proper attention one can learn and discern a great deal about almost everything and without proper attention massive amounts of pertinent information are missed.

One of the most important skills that children first learn at school is the skill of paying attention, which is more than simply listening. Attending often involves listening, but it also involves concentration, retention, reflection on and connection to information.

Everyone creates their own reality based on that to which they attend. Western civilization is by many measures culturally attention deficit disordered. Concentration, focus and inner reflection are not taught as skills, expected publicly or valued culturally and as a result most of us show a profound deficit in our powers of concentration. In contrast, Eastern cultures pride themselves on strongly developed self-discipline, physical and mental control, meditation and deep thought.

ARS certainly strives to teach listening, attentiveness, introspection, and concentration.

There are direct and indirect teaching moments and methods in place. The most obvious are our ethics program, our wellness program and our weekly Assemblies. See what measures you can take at home to lengthen your children’s focus and attention. The card game, Concentration, is a fun place to begin.

In Praise of Our Parents Association

While still basking in the glow of the Spring Fling, it is most appropriate to pay tribute to the Parents Association.

Parents Associations are an invaluable source of strength in a school community. In the best of times, the PA serves as a conduit between all of the different constituencies: students, faculty, staff, administration, alumni, and trustees. Often it is the only group in a school with a finger on the pulse of every other group.

A smoothly functioning PA is inclusive of all families, even if active participation is not obligatory for all. An effective PA should offer a wide array of functions to families tapping a variety of interests and talents. Active participation takes different forms: a few key individuals will serve as officers; a core of others prefer to stay in the backseat and help with behind-the-scenes work; while serving on committees represents a kind of middle ground in terms of time commitment. But even those who are too busy to contribute planning or event execution enjoy participating in the many PA events held each year.

All the right reasons to pitch in to the PA:

1. You demonstrate your interest in the school to your child.
2. Participation taps into your otherwise untapped interests and skills.
3. It keeps you abreast of school-wide goings on.
4. Broadening your own network within the parent body is healthy for your family and the school community.
5. It is fun.

Rarely can a school the size of ARS boast a PA capable of (and willing to) execute an event as spectacular as last week’s Spring Fling. I have been rendered speechless which is a true anomaly.

Rewards and Punishments

The only difference between an incentive and a bribe is the timing…but they say timing is everything.

In an ideal world everyone would behave perfectly at all times due to an internal sense of motivation to do so. Sadly, the world is far from ideal and as educators and parents one of our tasks is to elicit good behavior from children on a regular basis. Prior to the stage in a child’s development when good behavior can be automatic and habitual, it is fair to incentivize children by rewarding desirable behavior after the fact. It is not wise to bribe children for any reason, because you will simply have taught them to respond to a bribe and having learned that lesson to be motivated by external reward, they will turn it against you in the future.

It is also important to realize that value is automatically afforded no matter what ‘reward’ is chosen. Parents who reward their children with an extra fifteen minutes of reading before bedtime are making reading the reward and are likely to see their children become avid recreational readers. As educators at ARS for instance, if the reward is ‘free dress day’ at our school uniform school, there is value placed on ‘free dress’. As a uniform requiring school, wearing the uniform should be seen as a privilege and valued as a badge of honor, not something one should choose to abandon. As parents, if you reward your children with ‘screen time’ your children will value screen time. If you reward your children by letting them stay up late or eating junk food, they will value staying up and eating junk food. It is important to be aware of the messaging in your ‘rewards’.

Positive reinforcement is vastly preferable to punitive measures, but it is important to be aware of the messaging in any punitive choices as well. Sending a child ‘to their bedrooms or to bed’ as a punishment will not make your child want to go their bedrooms, or to bed, on other occasions either. If your goal is punishment through brief isolation, or simple temporary rejection from the group, take care not to have that associated with any particular physical place.

The ‘punishment’ should always fit the ‘crime’ and be a logical consequence of the actual transgression. Delayed or unrelated consequences are much less effective than immediate and related consequences. A child should never be punished for being honest about a transgression either. If a child confesses to having made a bad behavioral choice, focus on your appreciation for their forthright admission to the error.

The easiest way to elicit good behavior in children is to be very clear about your expectations, to be consistent in your expectations AND - very importantly – to model the behaviors you expect.

The Importance of Elementary School Years

School should be fun (see the former blog about play-based education) and children should love to come to school. One of my favorite statements about ARS is that we rarely have anyone cry on the first day of school each fall, but we have everyone weeping on the final day of school in June. There is always the happy sound and buzz of engaged children ricocheting in the hallways. When I worked as an advisor to families touring schools for The Parents League of New York I encouraged them to look for signs of happiness in every school they visited.

March is the month during which student re-enrollment, new student enrollment and school staffing are solidified for the following year in earnest, which affords everyone an opportunity to assess and re-assess the happiness factor in students, faculty, staff and families.

You all know what we do at ARS and I sincerely hope that you recognize the skill and precision with which we do it…we educate children aged 4 to 11. We choose to educate this group exclusively because these years in a child’s life are without doubt the most important in setting the pattern of their success and enjoyment of school for the rest of their lives.

Full disclosure, many of the requirements for success in school are not the truly important skills for success and happiness in life. Many really successful students develop into terribly ‘unsuccessful’ adults and many truly tragic students develop into wildly successful adults. But it remains true that children in this country spend increasing amounts of time daily, monthly and yearly in school settings. As a culture we emphasize behaviors required in school such as: cooperation, listening, attentiveness, perseverance, participation. These demands are constantly made of children in school and educators should strive to make time spent in school truly enjoyable and productive for children.

A child can arrive at elementary school for kindergarten having suffered poor neonatal care, a total lack of (or even a poor) early childhood program and ARS can overcome those deficits. With a solid elementary education every single necessary foundation is laid for subsequent success in school. From ARS, our graduates can be placed into programs (with financial aid) for which they would not have qualified without the education that we offer and from which they can soar. It is short-sighted for families to scrimp on elementary education in order to save for higher education; a great elementary school education is the finest investment that can be made.

The Value of Mistakes

Last month, in presenting the inherent value of play, it occurred to me to follow up this month with the value of mistakes. If children’s work is play and mastery of skills through practice, the art of practice is the act of perfecting something through the elimination of errors. Everyone learns most from the mistakes that they make, much in the same way that children learn to be risk takers by taking risks as Wendy Mogel’s bestselling book, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, so aptly pointed out. As Thomas Edison famously said, “I didn’t find a way to make a lightbulb, I found a thousand ways how not to make one.”
If we value persistence in students, we must value their errors. All too often, adults express disappointment in children’s errors and mistakes. For young children, a glass of milk knocked over and spilled, is an opportunity to help clean it up. I remember distinctly a teacher I observed who often instructed her students to write in ink, preventing them from erasing. The instructions were to try to fix an error creatively and to think of alternative word choices. I witnessed a student writing a note to another class in the school, thanking them for a presentation or Assembly. The student began writing ‘thank you’, but wrote ‘thi’ instead of ‘tha’ and was about to begin again on a fresh sheet of paper. With very little prompting, the student came up with a new first sentence, “This was the most interesting presentation of the year, so far.” And said out loud or I could have written…“Thinking more about your presentation, has made me wonder…” both far more gracious first sentences for a ‘thank you note’.
Instead of Trial and Error, scientific inquiry should be dubbed “Smile and Error.” Children should learn to welcome mistakes and adults should actively help children creatively turn their mistakes into useful events. Bishop W. C. Magee declared in a sermon in the 1800’s that, “The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.” It is still very true today and as a kindergarten teacher one of my common utterances used to be, “Oh good, I made a mistake, now I get to try it again.”
Embrace errors as valuable moments of self-improvement and as valuable opportunities to learn.

The Importance of Play

One of the most frequently asked questions during any admissions meeting at ARS is where the school falls on the curve between a traditional and progressive educational model. It is a highly loaded question and any answer is very subjective, since everyone has their own definition, and opinion of, the terms ‘traditional’ and ‘progressive’. The most accurate answer, I believe, lies in the ‘play based educational model’ typically used by early childhood programs and educators.

Play is the most substantive work of childhood and it is the very means by which mammals acquire all of the skills that they will need to become successful adult versions of themselves. Play simply refers to practice at the skills needed for maturation, the perfection of necessary knowledge and abilities. For young children, play is fun but it is not frivolous. Play is productive, and if properly guided, directed and meaningful it is the easiest way for children to learn and retain information, skills and concepts. Language acquisition distinguishes children from other young mammals and it is primarily through play that children learn language; as their play skills develop their linguistic skills grow, develop and become increasingly complex

Capitalizing on children’s natural tendency to be playful, one can play with words to teach reading, play with numbers to teach math, play within the environment to teach science, play with sound to teach music, play with movement to teach physical education and play with thought to encourage creative thinking.

Playfulness reflects mental flexibility and intellectual engagement. These are the very hallmarks of intelligence; all kinds of intelligence, academic, social and emotional. Free play among children, without any adult interference, is where children learn the importance of understanding, following and maintaining the rules of a game. It is also where they begin to set their moral compasses, using their own sense of justice in the world.

The buzz words in today’s educational and parent generated chat about children are ‘resilience’ and ‘perseverance’. Play is the means to developing resilient and perseverant individuals. “The play’s the thing to catch the conscience of the king”, said Shakespeare’s Hamlet. As I stressed in an earlier blog, our children in today’s world are play deprived and COVID isolation with its incumbent restrictions have compounded the problem. Play with your children often and encourage them to play freely, free of technological playthings.

A Tale of Two Pities

It is the best of times and the worst of times…

In conducting an interview with me for a graduate class, one of our faculty members asked me

to comment on general differences and trends in elementary-aged school children now

compared to 30 years ago. Immediately, I answered that a profound increase in anxiety and

fear seem to prevail in young children today.

The most commonly given answer to that question is the vast amount computer and screen

time that young children are subjected to in today’s world. I feel strongly that is chronic anxiety

and stress that exists for children in today’s world. Although I would argue that excessive

computer time and reduced physical activity contribute greatly to the anxiety and stress levels

in children, there are other contributing factors as well.

I truly think of ARS as being a happy and light-hearted environment generally, but the

population of children we serve demonstrate visible signs of societal stress.

There are many sources of stress in children, some obvious, many less so and some are within

our control, others are not so easily controlled:

1. Lack of sleep

2. Lack of balanced nutrition

3. Lack of personal freedom and independence

4. Chaotic and/or loud environments

5. Pressure to conform to a rushed or arbitrary timetable and schedule

6. Family concerns

7. Urban concerns

8. National concerns

9. Global concerns

December is a month during which your children will have a nice long holiday from school, so

try to give them the gift of a stress-free, relaxing vacation.

Our School Building

First and foremost, a most heartfelt thanks to Second Presbyterian Church (SPC) for allowing ARS the use of their space.

Our building defines the very character of our school and contributes mightily to the fabric of all aspects of ARS and its individuals.

Built in 1929, the building is old, not in a rundown or shabby way , but rather in an old world, warm and welcoming way. The age of the building provides gravitas and charm. The classrooms and hallways exude freshness; fresh paint, thanks to Mr. Rinat and fresh air, thanks to real windows that open, unlike the hermetically sealed holes, erroneously called windows, in modern buildings. The Carnegie Library inspires a studious hush by virtue of the architecture alone.

The scale of everything is small, as are our students, so the feeling is quite homelike for the children enrolled here. And, in fact, upon re-entering the school building between school and summer camp, one youngster was overheard saying, “Ahh, it smells like coming home again.”

We want everyone to feel at home here and as though they are at home here.

The classrooms are beautifully appointed by teachers who have a broad vision of their room’s overall effect and can keep an eye on the details, knowing that young children see and react to aesthetically pleasing environments, especially those designed exclusively for them and their use.

Even when school is not in session our building echoes with remnant sounds of giggling children, interesting discussions, music, song, poetry and laughter. I am convinced that if you picked us all up and deposited us in another building elsewhere, the entire tone and vibration of ARS would be altered instantly.

November is an appropriate time to give thanks…thanks as always to SPC for our spectacular building space.

Halloween

It is only fitting that on the first day of October there should be information about the last day of October. Halloween is certainly something that many children (and adults) enjoy celebrating. As our school was founded by the Second Presbyterian Church in 1789, it is also only fitting to examine the etymology of Halloween. From Wikipedia:

The word Halloween or Hallowe’en dates to about 1745 and is of Christian origin. The word “Hallowe’en” means “Saints’ evening”. It comes from a Scottish term for All Hallows’ Eve (the evening before All Hallows’ Day). In Scots, the word “eve” is even, and this is contracted to e’en or een. Over time, (All) Hallow(s) E(v)en evolved into Hallowe’en. Although the phrase “All Hallows'” is found in Old English, “All Hallows’ Eve” is itself not seen until 1556.

Here are some Halloween tips to keep in mind:

1. Simple homemade costumes are more meaningful, and less expensive, than purchased commercial costumes.
2. Trick-or-treating should be highly controlled, given the continuing pandemic conditions.
3. October 31st is a school night and adequate sleep remains important, please begin and conclude your celebration early.
4. Please do not send candy into school either for distribution to classmates for Halloween treats or as food items following Halloween for snack or lunch.
5. We will celebrate as a school, as we did last year, by having the students bring costumes to school, change into their costumes at the end of the day and parade around the block right before dismissal on Friday, October 29th. Families are invited to station themselves around the block to see us parade by or they are welcome to walk along with us.
6. The Parents Association will be actively involved in our school-wide celebration, so feel free to contact your class representative or Jenna Gettinger.

Now, on to ‘food for thought’ as opposed to ‘forbidden foods at school’…

There are individuals who are excited by the thrill of fear and others who are distinctly not. Often there is no way to predict what will frighten children, but if you know that certain images or items frighten your child, Halloween is not the time to ‘condition them out of’ such fears. Many of the house decorations that children see in passing on the street are quite ghoulish and can be frightening. Many costumes can be frightening, too. Children can be put off by skeletons, fake blood, or costumes depicting an animal of which they are scared (e.g. sharks, snakes, spiders). Young children (even four-year-old children) can be terrified by masks, so caution is key in choosing costumes for your children and yourselves.

Most importantly, have fun and enjoy Halloween with your family.

September ’21 Blog

Music: Harvey Schmidt

Lyrics: Tom Jones

Book: Tom Jones

Premiere: Tuesday, May 3, 1960

Try to remember the kind of September

When life was slow and oh, so mellow.

Try to remember the kind of September

When grass was green and grain was yellow.

Try to remember the kind of September

When you were a tender and callow fellow.

Try to remember, and if you remember,

Then follow.

Try to remember when life was so tender

That no one wept except the willow.

Try to remember when life was so tender

That dreams were kept beside your pillow.

Try to remember when life was so tender

That love was an ember about to billow.

Try to remember, and if you remember,

Then follow.

Deep in December, it’s nice to remember,

Although you know the snow will follow.

Deep in December, it’s nice to remember,

Without a hurt the heart is hollow.

Deep in December, it’s nice to remember,

The fire of September that made us mellow.

Deep in December, our hearts should remember

And follow.

For educators, the month of September is not nostalgic, but a fresh beginning with sharpened pencils (still bearing whole, pink erasers), and fresh smiling faces of eager students. The springtime, when others think of beginnings, is the time of nostalgia at schools. Spring is when we say: ‘try to remember way back in September and look at where are now!’

We missed that solidification and joy of accomplishment in the spring of 2020 when we were ‘remote’, making the spring of 2021 even more joyful than usual at ARS.

The summer of 2021 was filled with the buzz of summer camp and now we prepare to launch into a new school year, Jeff Bezos has nothing on us. Prepare for Blast Off, the Count Down is running.

Ambiguity

Ambiguity is a large part of so many of life’s milestones, academic graduation among them. Regardless of the emotional feelings about the school one is leaving, there is genuine ambivalence about the leaving and the moving on. There is so much uncertainty about whatever the next step holds that there is always ambiguity about looking forward.

Children must be taught how to deal with ambiguous situations, and like so much that must be taught, books are a great place to begin the lessons. One of the first children’s books to actively teach ambiguity is “Stuart Little” by E.B. White. There is the ambiguity of Stuart’s very identity as a mouse or as a human who “looked very much like a mouse in every way.” E.B. White ends the story in the middle of an adventure and not only do I remember writing several concluding chapters for the book when I read it myself as a child, but I have always had the children in a classroom insist on writing endings when they finish the book.

Interestingly, children love this book more than adults love it for them. White’s infinitely more popular book “Charlotte’s Web” overshadows “Stuart Little” as adults underestimate children’s capacity to appreciate ambiguity. White showed enormous trust in young readers. “Life,” White wrote , “is essentially inconclusive.” He created a great story in “Stuart Little” for children to begin to understand that.

Our graduates each year are well able to deal with their ambiguity upon graduating because they know how very welcome they are to return.

Morality

‘The Moral Judgment of the Child’ by Jean Piaget fascinatingly discusses the young child’s inability to distinguish intent from results. In other words, someone who breaks one item purposefully is not ‘as bad’ as someone who accidentally breaks several items. The child’s judgement rests in the damage done, not the intention of the act. Young children do, however, recognize self-sacrifice. They know that it is harder to offer another person the cupcake they had their heart set on devouring themselves as opposed to offering someone the cupcake they would not have chosen to eat anyway.

Eventually, children are able to overlay the concept of intent and make judgements based on moral balance. Once capable of moral judgement there are three distinctions of moral reflection: virtue ethics, deontology and consequentialism. Everyday moral thought, and the ARS ethics curriculum, draws freely from all three of these major currents.

Virtue ethics, centered on character, is typified in the action of someone spontaneously performing a kind, thoughtful or self-sacrificial act for another person. Deontology (from “deon,” a Greek word for that which is binding or required) is centered on performing an act which is obligatory, dutiful or required. Consequentialism is centered on the harms and/or benefits that result from our actions, which includes negative and positive rewards.

Morality and ethics are topics that are worthy of open discussion with children of all ages. Honor, integrity and true fellowship should be evident in our everyday behaviors and attitudes. A moral compass should be held up regularly to gauge adult behaviors, political actions, literary figures and our students’ lives.

Social Grace and Courtesy

Standard wisdom espouses that education is the best means for self-improvement. Betterment through education cannot be denied, but one can get almost equally far in the world with simple good manners. There used to be entire schools devoted to nothing but etiquette. Thankfully, gone are the days when young women attend finishing schools whose sole purpose was developing social refinement, and believe me, the young women in attendance had already arrived at finishing schools with far more in the way of social training than any young women in today’s world ever receive.

Evidence shows that today’s families have largely abandoned teaching good manners at home and schools rarely even try to fill that gap. As a result, there are many after school and weekend classes for young children now comparable to the finishing schools of the past whose sole focus is the teaching of social skills, table manners, and the lost art of conversation.

Good manners are the foundation of morality, which, in turn, is the foundation of ethics and ethical behavior is the foundation of socially responsible action. In a true and visible pathway empathy leads to courtesy, courtesy and kindness lead to morals, personal morals generate ethical behavior and, if everyone were ethical, most all of society’s ills would diminish.

Children are naturally curious, hard-working and persistent, but they are not naturally well mannered. Manners must be taught, acquired and developed. Childhood is the time in which to learn and hone manners, instill morals, teach ethics and create citizens who will recognize, exemplify and personify all that is required to achieve social justice.

Imagination

Few adults are fortunate enough to have maintained the level of imagination that they had as children.

Last year, one of our Professional Development Days was devoted entirely to increasing the levels of creativity at ARS. Creative administrators allow for creative teachers, who, in turn, inspire creative thinking in students. Creative students are the most challenging, and the most fun, to teach.

Every toddler goes through the ‘game’ of asking ‘why’ to every response offered to a question. Adults, and teachers in particular, should reverse the game and engage children in imagining all of the possible answers to a question.

Bruno Bettelheim wrote a wonderful book titled The Uses of Enchantment. Among other things he encourages reading to young children from books without pictures (or not showing the illustrations during an initial reading) allowing children to create their own mental images before seeing another’s interpretation. Once illustrations are introduced, there is a great deal of value in truly beautifully illustrated children’s books, those in which the pictures alone can transport children to wonderful, imaginary places.

Imagination, like so much else in life must be practiced, exercised and cultivated. It is easily squelched and is frequently trodden down by over-zealous adults and commercialization. Understanding that imagining cannot be done for another person, it is our job as adults to merely provide the fuel that triggers the imagination. If too much is revealed, the pleasure of imagining diminished.

Love is in the Air

Love is a good topic for the month of February. It is the essential ingredient in bringing up and in teaching children. Unconditional love is the wellspring of openness to learning. Even more damaging than poverty, hunger, illness or even homelessness in childhood is lovelessness. Love is what provides children the strength and resilience to withstand whatever adversity they encounter.

Love is not usually the same elixir for adults, primarily because unconditional love is rare in relationships other those that between a young child and their guardian adult. Love in childhood is the best preparation there is for a life of happiness. Love can come from anyone, a parent, a guardian, a sibling, an adult relative, a teacher, a friend. Our society is just coming to terms with ever broadening concepts of what loving relationships entail and how they should be defined. Loving relationships should be cherished, not judged.

Send Valentines and loving thoughts with wild abandon this month, it will do your own heart a world of good.

Emotions Are Ageless

Unlike in Victorian England, emotions these days are openly discussed and publicly displayed. This trend spans everything from family conversations to media coverage. Nothing is sacred or private any longer and emotionally based language is even used in place of definitive statements. For instance, it is common to declare one’s personal emotional discomfort instead of saying that they do not agree with a situation or a decision. Emotional language is a powerful tool. It is the domain of adults, however, children do not use emotional language to manipulate situations, although they are certainly not above using emotions themselves to manipulate. The adult world is often insensitive to children’s emotions precisely because they lack the emotionally based language with which to express themselves.

Make no mistake, emotions are ageless. Children feel the entire range and gamut of emotions. There have been some really interesting studies in which physiological responses in sleeping infants have been measured neurologically based on emotional stress levels in the environment from adults arguing, even when the sounds of the argument have been blocked. Children often feel guilt, as a result of not knowing the true cause of situations. Children may also feel responsible for situations if they have wished for or imagined them beforehand.

It is possible that children’s emotional states are actually heightened by the fact that they lack the ability to express them verbally. The very act of verbal expression diminishes the sensations. Everyone recognizes a two-year old’s temper tantrum as an outpouring of frustration. Recognizing, anticipating and verbalizing emotions with children is vital in creating emotionally expressive and resilient children. Anticipating and reading children’s emotional states is a worthy goal for everyone serving children in any capacity.

Philanthropy

In the minds of many children December is the month of receiving gifts, for any one of the many holidays we celebrate. It is a perfect month for teaching and modeling the act of giving. Philanthropy is a mindset and it can begin in childhood. Children are in a position to give many things generously. They can donate some of their new gifts, especially duplicates, to children in homeless shelters. Children are often sought as volunteers in various research projects. There are many PhD candidates in child psychology doing studies in empathy for instance. There are risk free medical research studies in many areas suitable for children’s participation such as eye movements in facial recognition. Children can participate in many acts of giving and support for various causes, such as juvenile diabetes, by joining ‘walks’, or becoming a pen pal with an elderly resident in a senior center or a child confined in the hospital. As Anne Frank famously said, “No one has ever become poor by giving.” It is not necessary to reach adulthood before realizing that acts of generosity are soul satisfying. We encourage ARS students to be generous of spirit and from that it should be an easy leap to tangible generosity. Use this month to shift the focus from ‘what they will get to what they can give’.

Testing Stress

Simply utter the word ‘test’ and watch most people become tense with anxiety and discomfort. Our culture, especially in recent years, has placed undue pressure on children, in particular, to perform on demand and to perform well. We have allowed standardized test scores to determine a child’s placement, their status, their very success: from the APGAR given to newborns to the Board exams given to medical and law student graduates.

Testing inspires fear simply because the stakes are artificially and arbitrarily high. In many instances, an outstanding performance on a single test indicates nothing more than an outstanding performance on a single test. It is not a measure of current knowledge, an accurate assessment of potential or even an accurate measure of how well that student would do on the same test on another day. The reliability and the validity of academic standardized testing is always in question. Many very poor students test extremely well and many brilliant students test very poorly. Regardless, outstanding scores from an outstanding student should be a by-product of that student’s academic life, not the goal of that student’s life or the goal of an education.

The pandemic has wreaked havoc with many features of American education and testing is an area in which the pandemic has had a major impact. We should use this interruption in our currently flawed model of academic assessment to alter the ways in which we measure achievement and utilize those measurements.

This pandemic IS the test for educators themselves.

Independence and Autonomy

The ideal trajectory of human development beginning at birth involves increasing degrees of independence and autonomy. Newborns snuggle facing inward, babies within a few months begin to show interest in facing outward and exploring their environment. Exploration and broadened interest increase with mobility; first turning over, then crawling, then walking. Separation from family members and the home environment, once children begin attending school, marks a major step in independence.

The pandemic has effectively stopped not only the education of children, but also the socialization and very development of children world-wide for a significant period of time. This is time that is lost forever. This is time that cannot be entirely made-up. Children need to spend time away from home and away from their immediate families. They need time in an educational environment, with teachers and peers. Schools provide time away from home, but do not often enough provide unstructured time for independently chosen activities with peers.

Colleges and Universities in the United States in recent years have reported the lack of preparedness in their students regarding levels of independence, decision making and autonomy. These are the very skills that should be acquired in childhood, prior to entering college. Imagine how detrimental it has been to the children who have been cooped up with their families and without school, classmates and friends during the pandemic. The social setback in our young children is equal in magnitude and importance to the educational setback. We must all do our best to counter the negative effects of social isolation that the pandemic has created.

Bearing in mind the parallel importance of education and the developmental benefits of attending school, we at ARS are delighted to have our students back in the classrooms and back on track in establishing their independence during these formative years.

20/20 Vision, A Blog from our Head of School, Brinton Parson

Achieving social justice is an imperative for our civilization and for our quality of life – for every one of us. And like so many goals we cherish, the pursuit of fairness and harmony can be – and should be – meaningfully addressed in education, especially in the elementary school years.

At the elementary school level in the United States, for example, we have a wonderful opportunity to present students with a balanced and honest view of the treatment of Native Americans, African Americans, Asians, immigrants, migrant workers, minorities and the many relegated to living in poverty. Doing this properly gives our young people a better ethical base, one that helps this next generation of leaders imagine and implement policy that finally delivers social justice.

While recognizing problems in our collective history, it also helps highlight extraordinary positives; brilliant examples of good deeds and thoughtful, compassionate creativity. At Alexander Robertson School, we have a particularly inspiring story from within our very halls.

ARS was founded, in part, by Katy Ferguson, an African American woman born into slavery in 1772. At the age of seven, Katy began attending The Second Presbyterian Church, which was then located downtown. Pastor Mason’s sermons had a profound effect on Katy, and when she was fourteen, Pastor Mason invited her to come down from the balcony of the Church and join the white congregants for Communion. At the time, this was a bold social action on his part, and one that upset many in the congregation. Nevertheless, the Minister held to his conviction.

The next year, in 1787, Katy’s devotion led her to start a Sunday school, the first documented “Sunday School” at any church. A year later, Pastor Mason and a group of congregants pooled resources to buy Katy out of slavery and into freedom. By 1789, Katy’s Sunday School – which was racially integrated – began classes on weekdays, too. Katy’s students were one of three groups that were combined in 1789 to form the Alexander Robertson School.

Our school’s genesis rests firmly on universal principles and values of freedom, equality, integration, spiritual openness and loving pursuit of education. Two hundred and thirty-one years later, ARS continues its history of inclusion, diversity, morality and academic excellence. There is a classroom named in Katy Ferguson’s honor with a hallway mural recently commissioned depicting Ms. Ferguson’s life.